He had no soul-to-soul connection with any of the women he drew into his serial sexual relationships. La Bier," she said, "I read that women require an average of 14 minutes of sexual stimulation to reach orgasm.
Maybe that's the problem - that Tom's just not a good lover." Julie and her husband had descended into what I call a "functional relationship." They didn't have sex much anymore, and when they did it was pretty uninspired.
Couples who have Marital Sex like something about each other as people.
Or at least they did at one time, when they first got together. The good part is that your relationship is more humanly evolved, and contains the possibility of evolving towards Making Love.
They remained committed to each other, though, and wanted to improve their sex life.
Their sex life was an example of what most long-term couples experience, as research and surveys have documented.
The kind of sexual life you have - and its conflicts - are embedded in the overall relationship you learn and how you "practice" it with your partner.
She carried the residue of shame about revealing her sexual desires, shame that originated in her relationship with her mother.
And it shares with Hook-Up sex what sex therapist Joseph Kramer calls "balloon sex:" Building up tension, followed by release, mostly focused on the genitals.
Nevertheless, Marital Sex is further along the continuum because it includes some degree of emotional, relational connection, in addition to sex.
"Marital Sex" reflects a higher plane than "Hook-Up" sex because it includes some degree of emotional connection and intimacy.
At least it does at the beginning of the relationship.