You’ll still benefit from reading this article, but read this article as well: MORE: How to Turn a Friend With Benefits Into Something More In our modern society, it is common for people to want to add something to their life to fill some sort of emotional void.
This is a recipe for disaster in a friends with benefits type of relationship since it’s easy to slide from wanting to fill a void into making a friends with benefits arrangement into something more. and whole, then your focus needs to be on living your life where you’re 100% in touch with your grounded, stable, ever-present sense of being OK you bring any sort of relationship into the picture (whether it’s a friends with benefits arrangement or any other type of relationship dynamic). You’re not looking for (and you won’t have) a “happy ending”…
and when it ends, it needs to be clean without loose ends (for you or for him).
Now, I understand that some of you might be reading this article specifically because you are sleeping with a friend and you want it to become something more.
This doesn’t mean that you’re cold, distant or treat them like an object. If you follow rule #5, you will most likely avoid this entirely. You’re not bringing your problems into it and neither is he. Similarly, you are not arguing with each other or putting expectations on one another.
It simply means that you limit how you relate to them… If you notice strong negative feelings coming up in yourself, it’s time to end it. With all this in mind, this is why the next rule is super important…
This means you’re going to maintain great fitness habits and great grooming habits.
Yes, I understand that this isn’t what women say they typically want, but I just got out of a long, difficult relationship and I don’t want to dive right back into commitment again.
If you notice strong negative reactions coming up in him… Even if you are great at following the first six rules, everything will come apart if you choose a guy who isn’t emotionally stable.
This means he’s a guy that isn’t emotionally volatile (as in, he doesn’t explode into anger, he doesn’t pressure you with demands, he doesn’t get jealous, he’s not a trouble-magnet in his own life, he’s not vindicative) and he’s got his life in order (he’s not depressed, his own life isn’t filled with drama or problems and he makes level-headed decisions). people with problems always find a way to suck other people into them…
This protects you from slipping into thinking of the FWB arrangement as something more than it actually is, which is pure, simple, uncomplicated sexual exploration and enjoyment with a guy on an ongoing (but time-limited) basis.
The most important rule of having a friends with benefits arrangement is that you limit what this relationship is in your life.